Seldom Disappointed by Tony Hillerman

Author:Tony Hillerman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins

16

Now the Good Life Begins!

I tend to blame the troubles that led up to the altar rail of St. Benedict’s Church in Shawnee, Oklahoma, on Tommy and Brad. Both were confirmed bachelors at the time (that didn’t last long) and so was our photographer and our sports editor. They lectured me about the mistake I was making and the bad example it gave. Worse, they refused to allow me more than the weekend off—which ruled out a honeymoon and complicated matters. If I had a day or two off I might have avoided the following problems, which I brought crashing down upon myself.

Oklahoma requires blood tests before issuing marriage licenses. I had that done at the hospital in Borger with the results sent to Marie’s brother, Charlie, who was taking care of getting the license. Friday morning before our Monday wedding date Marie called, agitated. Oklahoma didn’t recognize Texas blood tests. Oklahoma required one done in Oklahoma. I dropped whatever job I was on in the newsroom and roared off toward Guymon, eighty miles north and the nearest Okie town large enough to have a clinic. I did the nail-biting wait, eye on clock, while the only doctor in town dealt with a farmer mangled in a harvest injury. When he took my blood he asked me the wedding date. When I say Monday he says “I hope you don’t mean next Monday.” It seems that he has to send my blood sample to a lab in Oklahoma City. It will probably arrive about Tuesday, be tested Wednesday, and certified Thursday.

Even now describing that awful moment recalls a sense of panic mixed with despair. What I am about to screw up is the rest of my life. Marie’s mother had organized a major and formal wedding at St. Benedict’s with the usual bride’s attendant, maids of honor, flower girls, etc. Barney was lined up to be my best man, Dick Wharton and Charlie as my ushers. Invitations had been out for weeks, the church reserved, reception planned, etc. It was short of the preparations for D-Day but still a major logistic project and not something that can be casually postponed.

I race the eighty miles back to Borger. The only idea I can think of is getting Barney to pretend he’s me and get his blood tested under my name. From Borger, I call Barney in Norman. Mama answers the phone. Barney is off somewhere, but she advises calm. With the aid of prayer, nothing is impossible. Have faith. She recommends I get home as soon as possible. I tell her I’m on my way.

But not quite. The time I had planned to use getting to the bank to withdraw traveling money, to borrow a suitcase, and pack had been used in the race to Guymon. Now the banks are closed and paying for the blood test had left me with about $3.00. Credit cards had not yet been invented. I race around Borger, borrowing money from my assorted coworkers, the sheriff, from cops on my beat, etc.

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